It was a rainy day and she was in an Uber. She hoped and prayed she would reach no more than 30 mins late. Thoughts brewing in her mind, ”Damn, how do I fuck up with time so bad each and every time”. She was late again for a company training, but for some reason she enjoyed that long drive in the rain to the training center. It gave her the time she needed by herself to think about what she decided the previous night. Her boss a well know corporate honcho had shared some feedback with her in a not so nice way crushing her confidence and trust in her capability. Fuck the world she had decided I will find myself another job and most importantly, I will do everything in my power to lift my spirits again. She was bruised but she was such a strong independent woman who never let her scars be seen. It was time to put her plan into action.
Finally, the Uber made it to the convention center and she quietly entered the training room with close to 30 people whilst the trainer had started talking about thinking out of the box. Her persona was so strong and so was her perfume, her presence meant a breath of sweet smells and it was a welcome relief for most people so her being late went unnoticed. The day went on and she felt more light hearted than usual it felt like she was being her happy self again. Just before the day ended the team had their last activity they had to interview someone. She raised her hand to play interviewee and she never thought for a moment this would be that magical moment when she would fall deeply in love.
It was a crazy day for him at office with meetings no time to take a pause, grab a cup of coffee. He felt like a machine, maybe more like a robot. He was in a new city for two years his life had changed. He just got through each day on auto pilot mode. Tackling life like a to do list from one task to another. He was just another man in a busy city working from paycheck to paycheck not giving a thought about what he really wanted in life or where he was headed. His phone kept buzzing for the 3rd time someone was requesting him to be part of an office training activity where he would be interviewed. No time to waste on meeting random people for some random training he thought but he needed a moment to pause, to grab some coffee and maybe answer some silly questions at a training session. He never imagined in his wildest dreams he is headed to a situation that will change his life forever.
The interview began he was seated at a table with 15 people, all set to be interviewed and there she was looking so happy and cheerful. He met her a couple of times but she never engaged in a conversation for more than 3 mins. He just loved her vibe and found it difficult to explain what it was. Maybe he could talk to her and find out more about his feelings but he couldn’t take his eyes off her. He was a gentleman, highly educated and humble, she thought. He was looking at her like he was trying to find answers or searching for a glimpse of her soul. She felt conscious and just continued on with the questions her group prepared. She felt relief when the listed questions were completed and with a sunshine smile said to him, ”That was it, that was our last question, we got all the information our group needed”. He looked deep into her eyes and asked her, ”where have you been I haven’t seen you in a while”. Their souls met in that moment and in a crowded room they fell in love. Just like that cupid struck, love happened…
The human rational mind draws out what’s right and wrong, sets boundaries that should not be crossed, recognises a misfit and encourages you to keep emotions aside. Who doesn’t love a logical rational mind that can get you to think clearly, make choices in life and help you survive, quite literally sometimes. Should the logical mind have a say though, in matters of the heart. Ancient scriptures, modern poets, love gurus and any sane mind will tell you love is one area where the mind has no business. There is no science or mathematical reasons behind why a soul feels so drawn to another. Why love feels so blissful, magical even. Is it right though to loose yourself to love especially if your crossing some lines etched in stone.
Love or romance in the logical world is limited to a certain age (typically 20s), gender (man and woman), minimal age gap, similar background, community, education level, jobs held etc. The ideal list could go on and on. We grow up believing what our society claims is right and follow the same rules unknowingly, simply because that’s what the herd calls right. If only you didn’t have all these pre-conceived notions would you have chosen differently in life. The heart always knows who your soul yearns for. It recognizes the spirit that can spark your life and break your boundaries. The heart knows whose company can give you limitless happiness, push you to challenge your belief system and enhance your potential. Love has a power that can break you or make you whole. For such love to flourish though, it takes guts to look beyond the logical realms. It takes a lot of heart to ignore the age gap, gender, societal norms and love another soul. The heart always knows what’s best for you but the logical mind will disagree. I always wondered what Love would look like if the human race loved like nobody’s watching would you still be holding the same hand, would you still be in the same city, would you still be holding onto the same profession, would you still think twice before picking up the phone to talk to that special someone, would you still be single, would you still be married and would you still stay stagnant just because you can’t gather a little courage to love like nobody’s watching…
Humans developed through ages. From the age where we killed to survive we got to a stage where we were at war with each other as we split ourselves into territories called countries. There was no choice if your country was in the midst of war, you could die at the drop of a hat or loose your friends, family and life as is. Life was fragile and we valued every little thing you owned and every simple relationship you had and above all you valued your heart’s cry and desires because life was short and the moment is all you got to live before someone or something would come out of the blue and grab it all away. Men and women were courageous they fought for their heart’s desires against traditions and norms they chose love. They chose to fight to be with the love of their life because life was lost or gained in a moment. But what surprises me is the fire we had in our spirits to fight for your heart. Here we are today in an age where we call ourselves modern and spoilt with choices. Choice to live where you want, with whom you want, doing the job you want, living every moment of your life just the way you want and yet we all feel trapped in a system of wakeup, job, eat, sleep repeat, yet we feel stuck in relationships, jobs, locations, situations that you are obliged to be in simply because we believe we are out of choice. Do we understand the freedom to choose, the freedom to love, the freedom to live every moment on your own terms. Do we take our freedom for granted simply because we do not have the courage to follow your heart and simply because you do no have the spirit to fight for your heart’s desires.
If you look back at your life, your journey what is that one moment that changed everything or almost everything for the better. It could be a split second or a day. It could be something related to a person in particular or a thing or a dog… That was it for me. Yes, a dog. I call him Frodo (I loved the name after watching Lord of the Rings of course). It was much later that I realized Frodo was more like Scooby Doo. He was attacked as a pup by other big dogs and that made him anxious and nervous for life. He dealt with a hairline fracture caused by the attack too. He was found outside my apartment lost without a mother just 10 days old. I didn’t have the heart to let go. Against all odds (living alone in the city, night shift, long working hours etc) I decided to adopt him. That was my moment. I look back and realize from that moment on I changed and became a very independent person. It also taught me that when you really love someone you will always find a way out.
I grew up with two sisters in a loving family with a lot of noise and chit chatting all day through. Living on my own I didn’t really begin exploring enjoying my own company until Frodo stepped in. He was so dependent on me (also because we love each other way too much apart from the anxiety issues) and yet somehow he silently gave me the courage to try things I’d never do on my own before. Simple things really, like buying groceries, dealing with bank work, let go of the fear of doing something new. Frodo’s fears encouraged me to see the simple opportunities in daily life that we take for granted. I also became so grateful for the small pinches of happiness that you are blessed with each day. Just with his presence in my life I learnt to love life more because I loved having him in it.
He is right here taking a nap next to me as I type, teaching me to be grateful for the small ounces of life and love you are blessed with in this one moment…